So nothing terrible has happened, and I’m obviously not dead or anything. Most of my family in the Philippines is on the cusp of homelessness right now, so I’ve been trying to help with that…. amongst other familial drama.
And, as far as the pertinent stuff is concerned… I still don’t have my goddamn leg. Yep… I have no prosthesis, and I haven’t walked for 8 months now. Whoopee.
Not exactly worth writing home about. And even if it were, it’s not something to be inspired by.
I’m okay. I’m alive. I’m trying ever-so-hard to turn the page to the next chapter of my life, but it’s resisting me and I’m growing exhausted.
I dunno what I’m trying to accomplish here, except for the fact that there’s a fistful of people who actually give a shit about me and only have Tumblr to peak in on my life.
Like I said, I’m not dead.
But, I’m not great either.
So I’m the same, ultimately.
And that’s that.
You’ll know whenever it changes, because my heart will start thumping and I’ll begin writing like there’s nothing else in the world that matters.
I have to see my surgeon in 12 hours.
She’s a babe.
And I’m basically like…. in heat.
And forget being a babe, she’s all like… successful and strong and smart and saved my life and stuff.
Note to self: don’t see surgeon in May. It’s a liiiittle too overwhelming.
I have to take sleep aids. Why? Not because of stress. But because it’s spring time and sometimes jacking off at 2am isn’t enough to knock me into slumber.
It’s a frustrating time of year.
Melatonin, and in emergencies,
Benedryl. That’s what it takes to overcome this.
I thought that I was horny, and then the calendar turns over to May and I learn what real horniness is all over again.
The snow melts, the grass turns vivid green, trees and flowers begin to bud, and those of us who have nobody to fuck start losing our minds and touching ourselves like we’re digging for gold below our waistbands.
The farther North you live, the more you probably understand what I’m talking about. Spring is basically horny season. And those of us who are already horny to begin with…. well…. our hearts are racing for what seems like no reason at all.
Well… there’s a reason. We’re supposed to wake up next to whomever we fucked the night before, but instead we’re spooning a pillow. There’s some sort of primal breeding gene for the human race that kicks in during springtime.
No, pillow, you don’t cut it like you did in the winter. Sure, dream-spooning got me through the frigid months… but spring? Spring is the time of year where pretending no longer satisfies. Something is driving me to fuck before I fall asleep, fuck again first thing in the morning, and then spend the rest of the day rebuilding my energy in between fucks. And when that’s not happening, it feels like someone is squeezing your head and pulling on your hair all day long.
Yep…… that’s basically Springtime. Mother nature goes through this epic metamorphosis, but I never see it because I’m busy jerking off until Summer arrives…. at which point, I can settle back down to regular horny once again.